CONTEMPLATIVE CONNECTIONS I:
What Contemplative Living Means to Me
For the past eight years, as a board member and a chairman of The Merton Institute for Contemplative Living, I have lived and worked with the term, contemplative living. Trying to understand and define this concept is hard enough. This task is made much more difficult when one runs into inconsistent use of words such as contemplative living, contemplation, love, compassion, and unity.
For the sake of my own sanity and spiritual progress, I have had to evolve my own understanding of these terms. If this effort, as described below, is of help to others – great. If not, please forgive me for adding further confusion to an already obscure subject.
First, I should say that I am a white, 72 year old male. I am a Christian and believe in God. I am spiritual but not necessarily religious. I am a pacifist. I also believe that contemplative living is for everyone, including non-Christians and atheists, and that the world would be a better place to live in with more people paying attention to the contemplative nature that resides within us all.
Merton scholars have identified four themes that run through all of Merton’s writings about contemplative living: awakening, contemplation, compassion and unity. These themes relate to the heart of contemplative living -- relationships. There are four relationships that make up this contemplative living focus – with self, with God, with others and with nature.
Now, here is what works for me in this whole world of contemplative living. Contemplative living is living a life of unity -- unity in terms of living these four key relationships correctly and in harmony with each other – living these relationships as a dynamic system rather than a linear process. This means that one can enter the system through any of the four relationships and that each relationship is connected to and affects each other relationship.
The most leveraged relationship, in terms of its effect on all the relationships, is with oneself. Thomas Merton refers to the process of dealing with the correctness of this relationship as “awakening.” Awakening to the difference between one’s true and false self. The true self being that part of us that is God-centered and driven by love versus the false self which is ego centered and driven by narcissism.
The best way for me to grasp this truth is to realize that I am made in the image of God, not my parents, not Madison avenue, not Wall Street, not Detroit, not the prep school or college I attended and not the clubs I may belong to. All of these ever-present forces in my life have influenced who I believed I was (my ego self) but not who I really am, thank God.
Understanding who I really am makes understanding and correctly living the other three key relationships in contemplative living easier since God is involved in each of them.
Living a correct or right relationship with God is what contemplation is all about. For me, Thomas Merton’s definition of contemplation says it all in a very meaningful way:
“Contemplation is the highest expression of man’s intellectual and spiritual life. It is that life itself, fully awake, fully active, fully aware that it is alive. It is spiritual wonder. It is spontaneous awe at the sacredness of life, of being. It is a vivid realization of the fact that life and being in us proceed from an invisible, transcendent, and infinitely abundant source. Contemplation is above all, awareness of the reality of that source.”
For me, contemplation is not an intellectual exercise. It is not something I control or make happen. It is more of an experiential occurrence which, according to Merton, God controls. In my case, I do not believe that contemplation would have been as rich as it is without “awakening.”
Contemplation is about loving God. It is the way I speak with God. It is the way God speaks to me. It is a way of praying. It brings ultimate joy and peace to me. It is the most real phenomenon in my life.
Right relationships with others are those relationships that are driven by love and compassion. As Merton indicates, these relationships are real and effective when the real part of ourselves (that part of us that is God-centered and driven by love) connects with it’s counterpart in others. The interesting thing for me is that I find I am connecting in this realm with people whom I previously would have thought I had nothing in common.
The final key relationship in the contemplative living challenge is with nature. For me, the rightness of this relationship is best represented by contemplation. I find God in nature and my love of nature embodies many of the same feelings as my love of God – spiritual wonder, spontaneous awe, and gratitude. To me, nature is not humanity’s possession to do with as it chooses but God’s possession which he has gifted to humanity to enjoy and protect.
Finally, I think the challenge to live contemplatively is why we are here, i.e., the purpose of life. It is an exhilarating challenge. Getting just one of life’s most important relationships right is hard by itself. Getting all four of these relationships right and balancing them in unity with each other presents a life’s work. I use as a scorecard for my progress in living contemplatively this matrix of four relationships. It gives me plenty to work on.
Frank Peabody III
August 21, 2006
Frank Peabody III
Born in 1934, Frank attended Princeton University and graduated in 1956 with a degree in economics. During his professional career, he worked for human resource consultants, Meidinger & Associates in Louisville, Kentucky from 1957-1984, where he served as President and COO. After the company was acquired by William M. Mercer, he served as Executive Vice-President from 1984-1990 when he retired.
During his retirement years, he has devoted himself to his passions which include watercolor painting, The Merton Institute for Contemplative Living and golf.
Between the two of them, Frank and his wife, Juliet have three children and two grandchildren. They divide their time each year between Charleston, South Carolina and Woodstock, Vermont during the winter and summer months respectively.
Copyright © 2006 by The Merton Institute for Contemplative Living